How The Ed Made Christmas
by nekogirltheanimefreak
Summary: Ed wants Roy to guess what holiday is coming up but gives him a early present he didn't intend on giving. RoyxEd Don't like, don't read. Chap. 5 finally up!
1. Mischievous Little Ed

Disclaimer: I don't own it! T.T

Me: I've decided to do a Full Metal Alchemist story instead of DN Angel. Even though it's the end of July, I'm doing a Christmas fic! This is a yaoi fic by the way. So on with the story peoples!

Chapter 1: Mischievous Little Ed

Ed came bursting through the office door of none other than Roy Mustang. He stomped up to Roy's desk, automail leg and all. Roy looked up from his tons of papers at the short blonde before him. "What is it this time Ed?"

"Do you know what time of year it is?" Ed asked looking at the papers at his desk. It hurt just looking at all that work, imagine how it feels when you have to do it. He winced at the thought.

"Let's see, it's the I-don't-really-care time of year isn't it?" He said still signing and reading papers. Ed shook his head. "Then what time of year is it Ed?" Roy didn't feel like playing guessing games with all the things he has to do by the end of the day.

"I want you to guess silly!" Ed said being a little to nice. Roy stopped what he was doing and took the back of his hand to Ed's forehead.

"You don't have a fever..." He took his hand away.

"Of course I don't have a fever! I'm guessing that you don't have a clue what I'm talking about then?" Being the over dramatic Ed he is, he fell on the floor, hand on his head like a women would do. Roy looked down at the kid on the floor and knew Ed was faking it. He wondered what got into the blonde today. So being the kind and gentle Roy he was, he bent down where Ed was and said:

"The small fry finally fell down, but I guess it wasn't a big fall depending on how short he was," Roy smirked. Ed went red all of a sudden but then cooled down and stayed lying on the floor. "I thought that would work. Oh well," He got up to go back to his desk to review and sign the papers again. Ed got up as well and tackled the young Roy. Ed smirked. Roy got scared.

"Well, well, look what we got here. I, the great Ed, has finally pinned down the poor pathetic Roy," Ed said smirking like crazy. That scared Roy a little to much for his own good. "Is the poor little Roy scared of little old me?" Ed said eyes blinking.

"No," With that said he pushed Ed off of himself just to be tackled again.

"Tsk, tsk Roy," He said moving his index finger left to right. Ed smirked for the third time that day. "Now since you don't know what time of year it is I suppose you want me to tell you right?" Ed asked grinning.

"Question Ed," Ed lost the grin and replaced it with a questionable eyebrow. "Why are you doing this to me! I have to much work to do and besides that-" Ed hushed him up with a kiss. Roy blinked making sure this wasn't a dream and that Ed would go away. It wasn't a dream though and Ed was very much real. Ed got up off our little stunned Roy and turned around and blushed like crazy. Roy just stared at the little boy in red and finally got off the floor. Ed heard the movement and glanced at Roy for a second before he turned his face again trying to control his blush. "So you never did tell me what time of year it is," Roy said smirking. Ed smiled and turned around to face him.

"It's almost Christmas!" Said the happy Ed jumping into the air. He looked at Roy with a smirk on his face. "So what are you going to get me?" He asked having a devious look on his face.

Me: Ya me! This was supposed to be one chapter but if you want me to continue then I will. Well review if you like it and flames if you hate it. Just don't be too harsh on me.


	2. Can You Tell Me Now?

Disclaimer: Never have, never will. In other words I don't own it.

Me: Yes! Thankies for the reviews! This has been a honor to work here! Oh wait..I'm to young to have a job..and I don't work at read the freaking story! Ha! By the way, I can never seem to keep a story serious so here's the idiotic part of the plot! So this is nothing but humor! By the way Maes isn't dead in here! Yip, Yip Hurray!

Chapter 2: Can You Tell Me Now?

"So what are you going to get me?" Ed asked with a devious look on his face.

"You'll just have to wait and find out then now won't you?" Roy said with his trademark smirk. Ed smirked back. Again, Roy got scared. So Roy smirked harder. So did Ed but harder. So now they were having a smirking contest.

Just then Riza burst through the door with another stack of papers. "Sir you have to have this done..by..." she looked at Ed and Roy's scary 'supposed to be smirks.' "Am I interrupting something?" The two faced her. Roy glared at the papers while Ed just kept smirking like crazy. Unfortunately for Roy he fainted because he was so tired of looking at the papers and thinking of trying to finish it all by today so he just..fainted.

When Ed heard a 'thump' he spun around to look at the unconscious Roy on the floor. So being the kiddy little Ed he was he started poking Roy's stomach. He giggled. Yes he g-i-g-g-l-e-d. So Ed poked it again and he giggled again. Riza just looked at the two and decided it was time to leave. She had know idea what was going on before she barged into the room and she hadn't a clue what was going on when she actually barged in. So she backed away very slowly then shut the door as she left.

Roy woke up in a daze right after Riza left. He felt something weird on his stomach then tried to clear his vision and focus on the 'thing'. It was Ed still poking his stomach and giggling. Roy was shocked. Shocked I say! Ok maybe not that shocked. He was more mad at the fact Ed kept poking him and it was starting to tickle. Roy let out a giggle. Ed stared into Roy's eyes. Roy stared back at Ed. Ed shot death glares. So did Roy. They were so caught up in their staring contest that they didn't notice that Ed had climbed on top of Roy and was glancing right in his face.

Just then Maes walked in with pictures of Elysia in his hands with a big grin on his face. He looked down at Rpy and Ed and slowly backed away. Unfortunately Ed and Roy glanced at Maes before he had a chance to run out the door.

"Hey you made a spelling mistake mighty authoress! See where it says 'Rpy' when it's supposed to be 'Roy'!" yelled little old Maes.

"So I did? What does it matter when it's 3:28 in the morning. I'm really tierd gklhf'

"Did she just fall asleep on the keyboard?" Ed asked.

"I think so," said Roy. "Now can you please get off me Edward!"

"IT WAS THREE IN THE BED AND THE LITTLE ONE SAID ROLL OVER!"

"Finally she's awake!" Ed yelled girly.

"My dumb cat woke me u-ACK!" author's cat starts eating her hand.

"Hey can we move on so we can go back to our lives?" Roy asked the smart and beautiful authoress.

"Your not that smart ya know," stupid Roy said.

"Hey I'm not stup-ACK!" the mighty authoress sick's the cat on him.

"Hahahahahahahaha..haha...ha...heh-heh. OKAY! Back to the story at the part where Maes walks in before he corrected me on my mistake."

Mighty authoress presses the rewind button and then press play.

Just then Maes walked in with pictures of Elysia in his hands with a big grin on his face. He looked down at Roy (Ha!) and Ed and slowly backed away. Unfortunately Ed and Roy glanced at Maes before he had a chance to run out the door.

Roy pushed Ed off him and grabbed the pictures out of Maes hands. He looked quickly at all of them and handed it back to the other fellow. "Now that I saw all your ridiculous pictures of your child..GET OUT MY OFFICE!" He shoved Maes out the door and locked it.

"Why did you lock the door?" Ed asked.

"Because I'm tired of people barging into my office without permission!" yelled the frustrated Roy more to the people snooping around the door than Ed.

Ed stared. Then started to think about random things. 'He looks hot in that uniform..hmm..I wonder what he looks like in a skirt?' He pictured it in his head. 'ACK! That's just wrong. I wonder if Envy just wears a skirt or is there shorts under it? He sounds like a girl..I wonder if he is a girl..maybe he's half palm tree because his/her hair looks like the top of one.' Ed just kept staring at Roy lost in his thoughts.

"Ed you know it's rude to stare," Ed snapped out his thoughts and stared at the little palm tree in his office. 'Hmm..Envy looks like that tree.' Ed thought. "Ed!" again he glanced around and landed on Roy once more.

'Ed looks like a girl when he has his hair down..at least he's not like 'Envy the Palm Tree' heh-heh.' Roy thought. "Ed stop staring, you look like a little kid waiting to be fed."

"WHO YOU CALLING A LITTLE KID THAT HAS TO HAVE A BOOSTER SEAT TO EAT IN A RESTAURANT BECAUSE HE CAN'T SEE PASS THE TABLE!" yelled the infuriated Ed.

"I didn't say any of that!" Roy countered.

"Anyway, like I said earlier: WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO GET ME FOR CHRISTMAS!" Ed cheered.

"Like I said, you'll just have to wait and see won't you," said Roy.

"I want to know NOW!" yelled Ed as he stomped up to Roy and was directly in his face.

"You can't," those two words made Ed even more angry, so you know what he did? He kissed him because he felt like it! He put all his anger into the kiss and shoved Roy into the wall. So they were having a little make-out session here. Odd isn't it? "Ed I..can't..breath," Roy said between kisses Ed was giving him.

"Deal with it," was all Ed said before he started kissing Roy's neck. Since when did Roy become the uke? Anyway Ed was spoiling him with kisses. Then Ed stopped with all the kissing and the spoiling. "So now are you going to tell me what you're getting me for Christmas?" Ed asked with a divine smirk on his face.

"What if I said no?" Roy said, he too with a smirk on his face.

"Then I'll just have to keep kissing you till I get an answer then huh?" said Ed as he started trailing kisses all over Roy. He let out a quiet moan.

"If you plan to do this until I answer then I'm guessing I won't tell you until a long time," said Roy.

"That's okay by me," said Ed still trailing kisses down Roy's neck.

Me: YES! I'm done with this chapter! I had this half written but never got time to finish it. See my mom doesn't know I write yaoi and so does my sister. They're always around me! I'm sorry! -bows- Besides that my schedule is always tied up! It's killing me! Anyway I hope to have the next chapter up in a week or less. Again I'm sorry for the late update!

Your little friend,

-Nekogirltheanimefreak-


	3. Burn Down HQ! Hahaha!

Disclaimer: XP Yeh I don't own anything except for the mangas so blah!

Me: You guys probably don't even read this stuff at the top huh? If you do all I have to say is: Yippy! My third chapter! So on with the story and yes, the characters are OOC a little...okay maybe a lot! And Al is still armor!

Chapter 3: Burn down HQ Hahaha!

After Ed and Roy's little "make-out session" they went back to work. Roy went back to reading, reviewing, and signing papers while Ed went back to Al and the snooping people a.k.a Havoc, Riza, and Maes went back to doing their regular jobs. Everything was back to normal until...

"WHO YOU CALLING A BEAN TOO SMALL TO CHEW!"

You know who that was right? Yep you guessed it, it was Ed and his temper tantrum.

"I didn't say any of that!" Riza yelled back in defense.

"Whatever," then Ed left her office that was now a mess after he destroyed everything in his "problem."

"Brother why do you always do that?" Al asked while they were walking through the hallway.

"Do what Al?"

"You know..when you think someone calls you short you have a little temper tantr-" Al stared at his brother with fire in the background and eyes.

"What..do..you..mean?" Ed said between gritted teeth and twitching eye.

"Never mind!" Al said quickly.

"That's what I thought you said."

Just then Roy snuck up on them because I told him so!

"Boo!"

"Ahh!" Al and Ed screamed their heads off and jumped ten feet in the air. But because the ceiling was so low in that section they ended up slamming through ceiling with their bodies dangling.

"I'M GONNA KILL YOU ONCE I GET DOWN FROM HERE MUSTANG!" Ed screamed his head off while trying to tug his head out the newly formed hole.

"Is that a threat?" said Roy casually.

"HELL YA THAT'S A THREAT!"

"Oh really?" again Roy said it all casually.

"YES! AND ONCE I GET DOWN I'M GONNA KISS THE HELL OUT OF YOU!"

Al sweatdropped and wondered if they forgot about him.

"I'll being looking forward to that," Roy said as he started to leave Ed in the hole.

Ed heard the footsteps of Roy leaving and whimpered. "Wait! Please come back!"

Roy stopped in his tracks and walked back casually. "Pretty please with sugar on top?" Roy mocked.

"Yes pretty please with sugar on top!" Ed yelled desperately.

"Ok," Roy yanked Ed out but Ed fell on top of him and almost crushed Roy's ribs.

"I was just kidding! Now I'm gonna kiss the hell out of you! Hahahahaha!" He launched forward and started..well..kissing the hell out of Roy to the point where he couldn't breath..again.

Now I didn't forget Al! Let's take a peek at Al's thought's right now! In Al's thoughts: 'Fuck you brother! You expect me to just be stuck in here all day while you have a make-out session with Roy!Arghhh! I'm gonna kick your ass when I get out here!...What the hell is that moving in the corner? Why is it staring at me like that? Why is there a hundred of them!' "Ahhhhhh!" screamed Al.

"Al!" Roy and Ed said at the same time as they jumped up and tried to yank out Al, but he was too big.

"THERE GONNA EAT ME ALIVE AND TEAR MY FLESH OFF!" yelled Al.

"Al don't be stupid! You don't have any flesh!" said Ed.

"Says you!" Al countered.

Roy thought of an idea: 'What if I made a circle of fire around Al and he'll just collapse on the ground. There'll be a 20 percent chance the whole building wouldn't burn down though...well I'll have to take a chance! Besides, if this place burns down then the evil papers will die along with it! Hahahahaha!'

"Okay Ed this is the plan: You back away from Al while I'll make a ring of fire around Al's body. More in likely he'll just fall and then the fire will continue to burn until the whole headquarters is destroyed."

"...okay..." Ed wasn't sure if that was a good idea so he transmuted something into a water hose to put the fire out if it did burn the whole place down.

So Roy made the ring of fire around Al and he fell on top of Roy which hurt like hell. When the fire started to spread Ed got out the hose and sprayed it down.

"Hey why didn't you let it burn the whole place down!" Roy yelled in aggravation as Al got off him.

"Because people are in here!" Ed shot back.

"So!"

"So?"

"They deserve to die for them always barging in on me! Actually now that I think about it I could always come back later when no ones here and burn it down."

"If you do, we won't be able to make out anymore!" Ed said.

"Your right pipsqueak. I never thought of it that way," said Roy smirking.

Ed turned red then redder then redder-er then redder-er-er...umm...redder-er-er-er? Those aren't even words! Anyway Ed got so mad he pounced Roy and kissed him! Yes Ed does have a problem of 'when-he-gets-mad-kiss him' case. Weird huh?

Al was forgotten yet again and got carried off by the hundreds of rats that were staring at him.. waiting.. plotting.. taking sips of tea..then plotting some more! Hahahahaha! Any who everyone seemed to have forgotten poor little Al. Ed and Roy continued making out on the floor just kissing and nothing more you perverts! The nosey people from headquarters started taking pictures as they snuck behind plants and things planning on selling it at Ebay.Roy planned to burn them when he was down making out with Ed.

So there was the end of the day at headquarters! One hour later Ed and Roy went back too work..whatever their work is and Roy destroyed the negatives (the pictures.) And Al returned home because the rats dropped him off in their pimped out GMC Jimmy car with banging sound systems and tv monitors everywhere. Wonder what's gonna happen tomorrow..hmm...

Me: Yes this story is retarded and it only took me two hours to make and type. It's 4:26 a.m and I'm not even tired! If you didn't notice by now I'm nocturnal! I sleep in the day and wake up at night! Actually I sleep till one o' clock p.m. my life sucks! Didn't I update fast though? My Mom and sister are asleep so I had no trouble typing this. So review please! I promise to make the next one longer!


	4. Anger Management

Disclaimer: Do you think I own anything? XP

Me: My forth installment of How The Ed Made Christmas! I think it's hilarious! Anyway I'd like to thank all my reviewers and friends! So on with the OOC people in this story!

**Chapter 4: Anger Management**

Riza was walking in the hall when she heard... Ed! Yes his temper tantrum is on the loose again! Riza had been fed up with his screaming every hour and so now it was time to take action. Codename: Anger Management.

-in the office of Roy Mustang-

"Maes I'm gonna kill you if you don't stop talking about your daughter!" Roy yelled into the receiver of the phone.

"But she's so cute!"

"I. Don't. Care!" Roy said with gritted teeth.

"But-"

Roy hung the phone up and rubbed his head with his gloved hands. To bad Riza barged into the room with her gun out.

"How did you open the door when you can clearly see I locked it!" Roy yelled.

"I shot the lock."

Roy sunk into his chair and stared at the ceiling thinking. Let's take a peek into his thoughts shall we: 'I hate my life, I hate my life, I hate my life, I hate my life, I hate my life...I like Ed...I hate my life, I hate my life..I like donuts and coffee... Why is Riza pointing her gun at me?' "Why are you pointing that thing at me?"

"If you cooperate then you won't get hurt."

"Cooperate? Cooperate! I'm in a league ahead of you and you expect me, Roy Mustang, to cooperate with you! You must be crazy!"

Click

"Of course I'll cooperate with you Riza darling," said Roy as he put his hands up in defense.

Ed by a chance was walking by Roy's office when he heard Roy say: "Riza darling." Ed twitched a little then burst through the door!

Ed shot daggers at Riza. "He's mine you here! Mine, mine, mine, mine!"

Riza stared at Ed puzzled. "What are you talking about?"

"Don't play dumb with me! I heard Roy say "Riza darling," at you!"

Roy thought it was time to but in. "Ed she pointed her gun at me and forced me to cooperate with her about something, she didn't tell me."

"Well this is what I was going to tell you: Ed needs Anger Management," said Riza.

"Do not!" Ed protested.

Riza pointed her gun at him. "Yes you do."

"NO! I DON'T NEED IT!"

Click

"Shoot me then!"

Riza put her gun to the side. "Ed your short."

Ed blew steam out his head and turned red. " COME AND SAY THAT TO MY FACE YOU RETARDED CHINCHY LOOKING SON OF A BI-"

Riza hit him in the back of the head with her elbow and knocked him out. "See told you so."

Roy was gonna strangle Riza for doing that but kept his cool nonetheless. "Your right, so let's go to that psychiatrist."

-In the psychiatrist's room-

Ed woke up in a daze to notice he was bound to a chair. "WHAT THE HELL!"

"Keep your voice down," said the fat psychiatrist with his glasses looking like an owls eye pushed rather closely to his eyes.

"WHO ARE YOU!" Ed demanded to know since he was bound to a chair and had a rather small bump on the back of his head.

"I'm your psychiatrist Ed. Now I'm gonna ask you some questions and show you some ink blots and tell me what you think they are."

"What's your name doc?" Ed asked.

"My name is Dr. Suzziepicklelapalest."

Ed chuckled trying hard not to burst out into a hysterical fit. "Alright Dr. Suzziepicklelapalest. Show me some blots."

Dr. Suzzie..something held up a picture that looked like an upside down butterfly that was splattered against a window.

Ed answered. "It looks like me and Roy kissing!"

Dr. Suzziepicklelapalest looked closley at the picture, shook his head, then got another picture.

"Looks like Riza shooting someone."

The Doctor held another picture up.

"Me and Roy kissing."

Another picture.

"Me and Roy kissing."

Another picture.

"Me and Roy kissing."

Dr. Suzziepicklelapalest put the ink blots away and got out his handy clipboard. "Now Ed this is the questions part of the segment. So answer the questions okay?"

"Sure."

"Railroad crossings, look out for the cars, can you spell _that_ without any R's?"

Ed wondered what the hell that had to do with anything and started to spell the whole sentence without R's. "A-i-l-o-a-d-c-o-s-s-i-n-g...l-o-o-k-"

"I'm afraid your wrong, the answer was _that_."

"That? That! You asked me to spell it without any R's!" Ed yelled infuriated.

"I said: Railroad crossings look out for the cars, can you spell _that_ without any R's? See I said t-h-a-t," Dr. Suzziepicklelapalest spelled out.

"Whatever."

"Now here's the next question: losersayswhat!" the doc said really fast were you couldn't understand a word.

"What? Dammit!"

The Doctor wrote something down on his clipboard then flipped the page. "Here's the next question: Rose's are red, Violets are blue, what animal goes kyu kyu?"

"What the hell kinda a question is that!"

"Sorry the answer was a rabbit, a rabbit goes kyu kyu," the doctor wrote something else on his board.

Ed was gonna kill this guy! Let's take a peek inside his thoughts shall we...: 'I'm gonna KILL HIM! After I kill him I'm gonna kill Riza 'cause I know she's responsible for everything happening right now! Argh! This guy is a total nutcase! He isn't even giving me real answers! And what animal goes kyu kyu? Answer that bub! Argh! I wonder what he's writing on that clipboard thing? Hmm...'

Now let's take a look on what the Doc is writing! Authoress peers over shoulder of Dr. Suzziepicklelapalest. He's drawing a freaking piece of pie! Honestly..who draws a freaking piece of pie nonetheless! I'm gonna let that one slide for now. Let's get back to the progress now in session.

The psychiatrist started off. "Ed I have on more question: Do you like to be called short?"

Ed's fuse ticked then blew. "NO! DO LIKE BEING CALLED A FATTY FATSO WITH NO COLLEGE DEGREE AND IS A NERD!"

Dr. Suzziepicklelapalest's nerve cracked and began an insult competition. "At least I don't need a ladder just to walk the first step of my doorway!"

Ed's eye twitched. "At least I don't need to shave my back every ten minutes!"

Dr. Suzziepicklelapalest put away his razor and shot back. "When you were little, did your mom put you up for adoption because she thought you were a short little alien!"

"Take that back you geek!"

"Never you alien!"

"Fatty!"

"Midget!"

"Worm!"

"Poperastforg!"

"That's not even a word Fat Ass!"

The Doctor gasped. "Oh no you didn't!"

Ed smirked. "Oh yes I did girlfriend!"

They got into a cat fight flinging their arms everywhere but neither one of them hitting each other.

-5 minutes later-

They were still flinging their arms every where not even once hitting each other! This is getting us nowhere. Let's send Roy in the psychiatrist's office shall we? Ta-Da! Roy pop's out of nowhere and looks around the office.

"Where the hell am I!" Roy asked all mad and stuff.

Ed looked at Roy then forgot he was mad and..pounced Roy! Yes he pounced him because I said so! Now we're moving on...

"Ed get off me!"

"Never!" Ed hung on even tighter and wouldn't let go.

The psychiatrist looked down at the two figures on the floor and decided to continue his drawing on the piece of pie.

-later that day in Roy's office-

Maes barged into the office and pulled out all the pictures of his daughter. Roy, as quickly as maes pulled out the pictures, burned them to crisp. "That wasn't very nice!" Maes whined.

"Life isn't fair. Deal with it like the rest of us," said Roy as he signed papers, the evil papers of no return! Ahem moving on shall we.

"So how are things going with Ed?" Maes said slyly then winked.

"GET OUT!" He put his gloves on and aimed at Maes rear and set it to fire! Yes his rear end is on fire! Ha! Maes shot out of the office so fast you couldn't even say Suzziepicklelapalest.

Just then Ed happened to walk by soon enough to see Maes run out of the room and ran smack into a wall. Ed blinked. Then wondered what the hell just happened.

Ed walked into Roy's office and saw a very pissed of Roy with his teeth clenched together. "Roy you okay there?"

"No I'm not," came the reply.

Ed got an idea. "Then let me make you feel better!" Ed glomped Roy and started to hug him real tight and put motherly kisses on Roy's face.

"Ed!"

"That's my name, don't ware it out!" so the motherly kisses were gone and replaced by a nice long kiss that made everyone go 'aww.' "Now that that's over with...WHAT ARE GETTING ME FOR CHRISTMAS!"

"Christmas is in two days, can't you wait?"

Ed thought about it. "Nope."

"Your hopeless."

"But I'm your hopeless Ed!"

"And it'll always be that way," said the smirking Roy. The audience went 'awww.'

"Hey could you people shut-up! The audience needs to leave so shoo shoo!" The audience left and so Roy and Ed were alone once again. "Now where were we? Oh yea I was about to kiss the hell out of you because I felt like it!" so Ed pounced Roy once again and -er- kissed the hell out of Roy! ...again. I've decided that Roy is now the uke! I'm evil! Mwhahahaha! Back to the story now in session.

After Roy and Ed had there make-out session there, they went to Riza's office. Why? Because I felt they should! They barged into her office to see that Maes and Havoc were tied up and sweating like crazy. Not to mention that Riza had her gun pointing at them. Ed saw Havoc mouth the words 'Help' and so did Maes. Roy and Ed slowly backed away then sprinted into the hallway.

Roy panted a little. "What was Riza doing to them?"

Ed collapsed on the floor fro running so fast. "I have no idea and I think I don't want to find out."

"Your right. Ya wanna go to my house and play DDR?"

"Hell yea! Let's go!"

So they left Riza doing her business of torturing people to go to Roy's house to play DDR. This was a very interesting day. Wonder what's gonna happen on Christmas? Hmm...

Me: Ha! This chapter is really long. It's also hilarious! I have to congratulate myself on this. Anyway for the folks who don't know what DDR is, it's Dance Dance Revolution. Fun game really. I have that game at my Dad's house. Anyway please review for I see all!

PRESS ME TO GLOMP ED AND ROY!


	5. I Need To Know!

Disclaimer: Look at the previous chapters!

Me: Yes I updated! Sorry for the long wait everyone but my dad passed away sniffles So on with the story!

* * *

Chapter 5: I Need To Know! 

Today is a wonderful day for our beloved Ed. The reason why is because today is the day when he asks Roy what he's getting him for Christmas. He had a good feeling that Roy was going to tell him. So without further ado, let the havoc begin!

Ed walked into the office of everyone's dream guy, Roy Mustang. He trudged all the way up to the desk and stared at Roy.

Roy, who was signing the dreaded papers of doom, didn't seem to notice the little bundle of joy in front of him. So Ed just kept staring at his loved one and kept thinking of random things that popped into his head. Let's take a peek like we always do shall we: 'I wonder if Roy ever wore tights before?' the sickly image of Roy wearing tights (XD) made his eyes burn. He rubbed his eyes trying to scratch the 'never should be seen again' image out his head. After the weird image was out his head he started to wonder off in space.

Roy finally realized that someone was standing in front of him so he set down his favorite pen to pay attention to his client, in this case it's Ed, "Do you need something Ed?"

Ed was pulled abruptly out his thoughts to respond, "Yes I do...What are you getting me for Christmas?"

Roy gritted his teeth together trying to stay calm. He still didn't know why Ed kept asking the same question over and over again but answered the question that was oh so common, "You will just have to wait till tomorrow Ed, now please let me finish my work," he picked up his favorite pen and starting reviewing and signing papers.

Ed just stood there looking completely innocent and short as the scratching of the pen echoed in the room. He blinked a couple times thinking of what to do for the past time.

Roy was getting annoyed that Ed was still here and distracting him from his work. So being the patient person he was, waited till Ed would get bored and leave, but Ed just stayed in his position not moving one bit. Roy was losing his patience by the second so he stood up and walked over to Ed.

It's a real shame Ed wasn't paying any attention though or he would've heard Roy call him short.

Roy lost all his patience just then and started poking Ed in the head. The blonde was still staring into space though, no matter how hard you poke him.

Just then, Maes and his dreaded pictures of no return, walked in. "Ohh Roy!" he sang.

The horrifying voice filled his ears and all the little voices in his head were telling Roy to run and keep running till you can't run no more! He turned around slowly and the first thing he saw was a picture of Eylisia. "Get that photo out my face or I'll burn it along with this whole freaking hell hole."

Maes frowned. "I was tied in Riza's office for the whole night along with Havoc and his whining, the least you could do for me is look at the damn photos."

"What if I don't want to?"

"Then I'll force you."

"But what if that doesn't work? What if I said that I'll burn your pictures first? What if I said I had a rabid monkey in my closet and it hasn't been feed in days and it was looking for fresh meat? What would you do if I locked you in that same closet and let yourself get ripped to shreds! How does that sound Maes? Well!"

Maes, completely horrified by now, stared wide-eyed at Roy then turned his attention to Ed who was still staring into space, completely zoned out of the world around him. Maes started getting weird ideas that Roy was putting some zombie spell on him so he grabbed Ed by the shoulders and shook him where you could get a brain concussion.

Ed, who was paying full attention by now, narrowed his eyes and slapped Maes' hands away. "Why are you shaking me you dimwit!"

Maes blinked then stared at Roy then stared back at Ed and then Roy again and then Ed again and then said.."So you weren't putting a spell on Ed?"

Ed sweatdropped and Roy just stared blankly at Maes.

Roy cleared his throat, closed his eyes and said in a dangerously low voice. "Get out my office right now or I'll kill you-" Roy snapped his eyes open looking directly at Maes with burning eyes-"and don't ever come back unless I ask for your assistance."

Maes squeaked and left immediately.

Ed stared at Maes' dust trail then stared back at his beloved. Then blinked..then blinked some more..then said, "You have a rabid monkey in your closet?"

"No, not really, I just wanted Maes out my office so I could get back to work."

"Oh...so what are getting me for Christmas?"

Roy growled.

"Never mind," Ed squeaked out.

So they just stood there for some time staring at each other.

Ed finally broke the silence because he couldn't take it anymore, "So you want to go see what Al's doing?"

"Sure."

So Ed and Roy walked down the hallway that led to Riza's office and heard a shout..then a scream..then a loud gunshot..and then a plea for help? So being the nice duet they are, Ed and Roy made their way to Riza's office and hesitantly opened the door and were greeted by the sight of...

"Holy crap, why are you guys in tutus?" Ed said pointing to Havoc and Maes in tutus with pixie dust sprinkled on them. It was a horrible sight indeed. In fact, so horrible that Ed had to cover his burning eyes.

Havoc whimpered pointing to Riza who was pointing her guns at both Maes and Havoc. "She made us!"

"Quiet!" Riza growled then shot daggers at Ed and Roy with her eyes then stared directly at Maes, "Now I want an explanation to why you would go into _my_ desk, take out my journal without _my_ permission, and show it to everybody in this building! Now you really need to learn some respect for other peoples privacy," she turned her head toward Havoc, "and you too!"

Roy wasn't going to let his comrades get killed by their fellow lieutenant. So he jumped in the fight.

"Please put the guns down Lieutenant Hawkeye," Roy said in the most serious voice he could do.

So Riza just gave Roy the most inhuman glare and said.. "No."

_Click_

"Now dance," Riza shot her gun at everybody's feet and laughed like crazy making them dance, that is until she ran out of bullets and ran away at the speed of light.

Everyone just stared at the trail of dust she left behind.

Ed was the first to speak out of all of them, " That was awkward.."

So everybody nodded slowly in agreement.

"Well, let's have lunch!"

Again, everybody nodded in agreement.

So the four went to lunch and ate Chinese food because they couldn't afford anything more than that, and then, out of the blue Ed asked the most annoying question you could think of..

"Roy, what are you getting me for Christmas?"

Roy put his chopsticks down and let out a sigh, "You'll just have to wait and see like everyone else."

"But I don't want to!"

Roy shut his whining up with a glare then continued eating.

After everyone was done, they left the restaurant and headed back to headquarters to be greeted with the sight of everyone dancing, having a party.

Ed jumped up and down. "Let's dance!"

So everyone started dancing with the music loud as ever.

TBC..

* * *

So before anyone gets on my case about not updating, I have to tell you guys that my father passed away. It's terrible indeed. The bad thing is, no one could save him since he lived alone and my parents didn't live together and all..but I'm not gonna explain the life story here. He passed away because of a heart attack just in case you're wondering so..yeah..whatever. Here's reviews! 

The New Shinigami Hikari- I want to know too! ;)

Full Metal 365- I know it's awesome isn't it? I did make the last chapter fast didn't I? X)

Amanda- The cat fight thing was pretty funny! XD

christal- This story is hilarious! I totally agree :)

thedeathalchemist- Well here's another chapter :P

Elion- I updated soon didn't I? Say YES! XP

Shizuma The Black Magician Alchemist- This is a good fic ain't it! XO

AlchemistBlaze- Thanx for the cookies -eats them- they were delicious! XD


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